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#69 - 11/18/07 08:09 PM met a deaf man
terrygirl Offline
New Member
Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 14
Loc: So. Indiana
i met a deaf man about 43 who does not sign. he said he was sent to mainstream school and reads lips. he does seem to talk ok but is low functioning because he cnt sign or hear. he is not in deaf world or hearing. i feel bad for him and would like advice on what i can tell him to do for more help.

Thanks
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#72 - 11/19/07 08:15 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
CSN Offline
Active Member
Registered: 10/09/07
Posts: 162
Loc: Omaha, NE
terrygirl,

Wow, that is a sad thing. This gentleman is low-functioning because he can neither sigh nor hear? That's sad. What can you tell him to do for more help? A lot of that depends on where he lives. The services available differ depending on location. One idea may be to contact a local Deaf organization. Maybe a social services organization? You are doing the most important thing already. I can tell that you have respect for him. That's important. Good Luck!



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#74 - 11/20/07 12:15 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
SweetMind Offline
Active Member
Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 201
Loc: Mother Nature world
That s so sad for this Deaf man who couldnt be able to get his education while he was forced to speak and hear alone without ASL. This is why so many Deaf people are very low functional in some ways because they dont hear like what hearing people can hear. Just the sounds that doesnt mean we are getting more education in the classroom without ASL. Thats the huge issue in our (d)eaf not Deaf community that audist attitude ruins everything in our Deaf Needs for many years.

That s a good example opposite side of A compelling desire of deafness which means the brainwashing parents want their kids to be a hearing. It s not the excellent answer for the parents to force and manipulate our Deaf children s needs that should come first before Hear and Speak itself. Sighs!

All I can say encourage him to meet other deafies to improve himself with ASL that will change his life completely soon or later. Believe me or not! wink

Many thanks!
Sweetmind
_________________________
"Light of Love"in our ASL culture. ASL is a form of speech and gives LOVE for all humanity kids. smile
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#82 - 11/25/07 07:55 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
terrygirl Offline
New Member
Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 14
Loc: So. Indiana
Hi again and thank you for your comment and advice. I have seen this deaf man a few times since the first post. He feels he is to old to start learning sign now..he is 43. Where i work there is a hoh man who is going to teach sign starting in january. I will try to make sure this deaf guy(burton) will go to the classes. I think he took my offer of help wrong. I got text by a friend who was at the same bar as Burton and he was getting loud and frustrated and they wanted him out of there. I went there and coax him out and drove him to his home. He attacked me in the car! I'm bigger then him so i not worry but he was touchy feely and i had to force him out of car. The next time i made sure he was not drunk when i talk with him at his job. I want to keep you all posted as i know he can read so i may print all post for him to read for encouragement. thanks again.
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#85 - 11/26/07 09:17 AM Re: met a deaf man [Re: SweetMind]
vpny Offline
New Member
Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 2
Loc: Limassol, Cyprus
Hi, Terrygirl,

one thing you could do is probably bring him near to the Deaf community...probably he never got the chance to meet with other deaf...maybe ask him if he would like to start learning ASL.....that would be a nice start I think! As long of course as he agrees. How does HE feel about himself? If I may ask? You said he is low-functioning..I guess as far as communication through ASL is concerned since you said orally he seems to communicate ok. Hope you 'll act as a bridge to a new world. I wish all the best!

vp
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#89 - 12/01/07 04:49 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
CSN Offline
Active Member
Registered: 10/09/07
Posts: 162
Loc: Omaha, NE
Hi Terrygirl,

Too old at 43? I think not. *smile* I learned to sign when I was older than that! Further, I have a "Learning Disability" and was still able to learn. That's a good idea for him to go to class. Even better would be if he went mostly cuz he wanted to. That way the motivation would be there. Learnning anything takes motivation.

About what he did in the car, maybe it was (largely) cuz he was drunk. When someone is drunk their inhibitions are lowered and they do things they would never do if they were sober.

Priniting the post would be a good idea. Maybe he could post too? That way he could see concrete evidence that he is not isolated.

Also, the suggestion by vpny is a good one. smile That is a good question about how he feels about himself. This is important. He may be running into frustration about his own identity. Anyhow, I wish you good luck with things. smile


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#110 - 12/15/07 08:20 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: CSN]
terrygirl Offline
New Member
Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 14
Loc: So. Indiana
Update on deaf man who cannot sign.

I was able to get him to meet with a case worker who will get him some good help with living situation and even some vocational rehab. I have been making him sign to me as best he can and am finding out that the more he relaxes the more he can sign. Also i'm finding i had wrong information on him as i was reading his lips and not to well. He was born deaf and started to learn some sign when he was 15 yrs old. But never used it with his family like a lot of us. So some sign is now coming back.

CSN you were right about what you said:
"About what he did in the car, maybe it was (largely) cuz he was drunk. When someone is drunk their inhibitions are lowered and they do things they would never do if they were sober".

He doesn't remember it and has acted as a perfect gentlemen since then.

I will keep you posted on him as I feel good things will happen for him. I actually had a dream the other night that he became a famous Author!

I will try to get him to post, but will need to do it for him as he has no computer skills yet.

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#123 - 12/17/07 09:04 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
CSN Offline
Active Member
Registered: 10/09/07
Posts: 162
Loc: Omaha, NE
terrygirl.

That was wise of you to get him to meet with a caqseworker. They know which chains to yank, and when to yank them. **5**

Reading his lips is not gonna be very clear as you know. But your efforts are what counts.

I'm glad he doesn't remmy the incident with you. However, I'd caution you to remember that he is capable of these things. You just gotta watch out for yourself. smile

Good idea to try to get him to post. That way he can get involved.

I look forward to reading more about him and by him as well.
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#133 - 12/21/07 07:18 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: CSN]
SxyPorkie Offline
New Member
Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 20
I agree with CSN.... I am looking for more updates about him... wish him well...
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#171 - 01/08/08 02:11 AM Re: met a deaf man [Re: CSN]
slingblade Offline
New Member
Registered: 01/06/08
Posts: 2
i'm kind of in his situation now myself i'm 30 and just now relearning sign i learned some as a kid but went mainstream when i was about 12 and got by reading lips since so now i'm relearning something that has helped alot is there is a church near by that has a deaf ministry that is helping me learn maybe take to church with you or to a deaf club would help him pick it up quicker
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#240 - 02/10/08 09:06 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
terrygirl Offline
New Member
Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 14
Loc: So. Indiana
Update on Burt.

I took over his case as his case manager was not moving fast enough for me. Burt was living with his brother who he is scared of. he was paying his brother $350 a month to live there and his brother (i found out) only pays $57. a month for the apt. Soooo, i got Burt into the housing authority on the other side of town away from his brother but still close enough to walk to work. He now has is own place for $155. a month all utilities included, and all deaf safety features, flashing door bell, flashing smoke alarms. I thought this was great but when i got ready to go into action and move him he freaked out! He even started crying and I thought he was having a breakdown. I think he is afraid to be alone. He has been there for two weeks now and is doing better with it. Even tho the door locks and there is high security in the building he still pushes heavy things against the door at night. My next project is to get him a VP so he can have contact with the outside world, but first he needs an updated TV, his is so old there is no remote for it. The building has cable too.

I would appreciate anymore advice about what he is going through and what I can do to help him.

Slingblade, thank you for your post, do you have a sidekick? I'm going to help Burt learn how to use one...slowly.
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#246 - 02/12/08 09:18 PM Re: met a deaf man [Re: terrygirl]
CSN Offline
Active Member
Registered: 10/09/07
Posts: 162
Loc: Omaha, NE

terrygirl,

From what I've read so far it seems that he may have a Learning Disability? Most deafs his age function in both a socially appropriate manner as well as one in which personal needs are taken care of. Besides the possibility of a LD I get the impression of low self-confidence. Obviously, he is over-trusting. For his brother to do that to him is not just low-class it is no-class.

He "freaked out and started crying'? This gives me the impression of him not being self-confident. He needs to learn both in thought and in feeling that he can be succesful. However, I realize that this may be hard to do considering what he has been through. Maybe, if he started taking the responsibility of making small decisions he can work his way up to major decisions. Just being aware that he has the responsibility of making daily plans and writing them on his calander would be a positive thing. Maybe if he had a calander that was exclusively for his use he could learn to plan ahead. If he learns this he may also learn that the responsibility is his. Of course, he may have the mindset that does not allow for mistakes. He would need to get rid of this and see that as a human being he is responsible for what he does, but that sometimes things do not work out. And that this is OK, too.

I'm glad he has a place of his own. That will go a long way in helping him realize that he can take care of himself, and that he does not need to be dependent upon other people.

True, a VP would be a big help. If his building has cable then he would be doing OK. From what I've seen the TV signals are supposed to change so that an old TV won't be able to pick up the signal? I don't know the details of this but a cable company is selling that with them their will be no problem.

I think he needs to learn how to relate to others in a positive manner so that he is not a victim. Which I believe he is learning. I think you are trying to watch out for him which may be a new thing for him. smile
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#252 - 02/17/08 09:49 AM Re: met a deaf man [Re: CSN]
terrygirl Offline
New Member
Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 14
Loc: So. Indiana
Thank you CSN. I'm going to get that Calendar today! I can tell he different now from way he was when he first moved by himself. No more boxes pushed up against the door, he now has pictures up on the wall only in his bedroom but one room at a time is good. He stopped going to the bars and goes straight home now!! He does drink at home but i'm sure he has cut down.

Tuesday I take him for Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling.
Thanks for the support and good calendar idea.

AIM: july12th is back
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